The Zoo
by MasterFinland
Summary: When a slightly over pregnant Alice and family go to the zoo, things don't exactly go as planned. Rating may go up for graphic scenes. Written with PinkAddict.
1. Chapter 1

Alice regretted even getting out of bed that day. Her day had been awful from the moment she stepped out of the warm cave that she called her room. Why had Alfred even dragged her out here anyway? He should know that she wasn't feeling particularly well, being as pregnant as she was.

She shouldn't be at the goddamn zoo when she was eight months pregnant. It was bloody outrageous. Her back hurt, her ankles were swollen and her belly was fucking _huge. _She hadn't gotten a full night's sleep in a week! Alice could barely waddle without having to hold on to something, let alone survive the zoo with her overenthusiastic husband and three young children.

What was Alfred even thinking?

"Alfred." Alice growled, glaring at him. Her oaf of a husband was too busy admiring the many lethargic zebras in front of him to notice her predicament. The enthusiastic children were pulling her every which way, seeing as they had never been to this particular zoo before, and she was struggling with just standing up. She was leaning heavily on the railings that enclosed the zebras from the rest of the zoo, one hand on the underside of her bulging belly.

Alice's anger fell on deaf ears. "Wow, Ali, come look at them! They're so cool!" he was almost bouncing in place, excitement lighting up his childish blue eyes.

"Alfred," Alice growled again, the dark circles under her eyes made her look as exhausted as she was.

She was getting tired of this bullshit. They'd been at the zoo for _two bloody hours_ already, and they weren't even halfway done yet!

She wanted to go home. She wanted to lay down. And most of all, _she just wanted to get this fucking baby out of her already._

"Mummy?" There was a soft tug at her dress. Looking down, she caught the eye of Avery, one of the twins.

Alice softened. "What is it, love?" She leant down as much as she could in her condition, her back cramping slightly. The two year old flushed slightly, already showing signs that he would take after his mother.

"C-Can we see monkeys? I know you sleepy and sissy is hurting you, Mummy, but I wanna go see monkeys."

Alice's face inflamed at how cute her son was. "Y-Yes, of course we can!" He was so cute! She turned to Alfred. "Alfred, if you're done being an imbecile, Avery and I are going to see the monkeys."

Alfred was unaffected by her tone. "Yeah yeah, okay hun. I'll stay here with Avery."

Alice rolled her eyes at the comment. He was hardly even listening to her! "Yes, Alfred, I'm going to take Avery to see the monkeys and while I'm doing that you can watch Avery. Yes, that makes perfect sense."

Alfred nodded, still not looking at the irritated Brit. "Sure honey. Have fun."

Alice clenched her teeth. Not trusting herself to say another word without biting his head off, she grabbed Avery's hand and led him in the direction of the monkey enclosure. After nearly getting lost several times, which only added to her annoyance, she finally found what they were looking for.

They entered the building, and Alice had to hold tightly to Avery to keep him from running to the glass.

Avery was ecstatic. "Mummy! Mummy, look! Monkey!"

Alice couldn't help but grin at her son's antics. "Yes Avery, Mummy can see. Aren't they interesting?"

Avery nodded fervently. "Yes, Mummy," suddenly, he gasped, his green eyes lighting up happily. "Mummy! Look, look!"

Avery kept pointing out every move that the oddly enthusiastic monkeys made. Alice smiled and laughed along with him, finally beginning to enjoy her previously more-than-shitty afternoon. She placed a hand on the underside of her swollen belly, feeling a slight pain. Alice shook it off as the baby moving around- she was a rambunctious little thing!- and turned her attention back to her son.

Her phone rang barely five minutes later, and she sighed. Alfred was calling, no doubt to ask where she was.

"Hello?"

_"Alice! I turned around, and you and Avery were gone! Where did you go?! Are you okay?!"_ Alice rolled her eyes.

"We went to see the monkeys, like I told you we were."

_"You never told me you were going to see the monkeys!"_

"Yes, I did. You made some stupid remark about how you were going to watch Avery while I took Avery to see the monkeys. You have _got _to learn to pay attention!" Her irritation was back, along with a hot batch of tears. Fucking hormones.

"Mummy? Is you okay?" Avery inquired, his large green eyes, so much like his mother's, stated up at her in concern. Too much concern for his age. What a smart boy.

And Alice couldn't hold the tears anymore. Her sobs echoed throughout the monkey enclosure until people had begun to stare. Avery stared at his mother, worry etched on his young face.

"_Alice?! Are you okay?! Why are you crying?" _Alfred had stopped panicking for one reason, and continued for another. He was concerned.

Why was his wife, who was previously both bored and angry with him, sobbing?

"Shut up you douchewad! I'm perfectly fine!" Many people had covered their children's ears and started to leave the viewing room, horrified and disgusted looks on their faces.

_"Honey, calm down. Tell me what's wrong. Do I need to come get you?" _His voice was calm. Alice nodded in response before coming to the realization that Alfred could not, in fact, see her. She hiccuped quietly, sniffling before she spoke.

"Y-Yeah." She mumbled, red faced.

"Mummy? I talk?" Alice sniffed, meeting her son's eyes. She nodded, passing the phone down to him.

_"Hello? Alice?"_

"No Daddy. It me. You come get?"

_"Yeah, Buddy, I'm coming to get you. You and mommy stay there, okay?"_

_"_Yes Daddy. What wrong with Mummy?"

Alfred sighed. _"Mommy is... Mommy's just tired, Ave. That's why we're going home."_

"Okay Daddy. Bye-Bye."

_"Bye-Bye Buddy. Give the phone back to mommy, okay?" _The phone was handed back to Alice.

"Alfred, just get here as soon as you can." She whimpered pathetically, rubbing her eyes before moving her hand to hold her belly again.

"_I'm on my way, honey. Just hold on. I love you, sweetheart,"_ The American replied gently. There was a slight click as Alfred hung up.

Alice put the phone back in her jacket pocket, her breathing slightly shaky. Her son looked up at her, his eyes wide. "Mummy? Is you okay?"

Alice took a deep breath, not quite sure what to say to her son. Finally, she decided that he needed some sort of truth. "Mummy isn't sure, sweetheart."

Avery nodded, taking her hand and leading her towards the bench. "Does mummy need to sit?"

Alice nodded, holding her belly once more. She had a sickening feeling as of what was going on, and she didn't particularly like it. Avery helped her lower herself onto the bench, feeling slightly worse.

Then she realized _why_ she felt worse.

A series of splashing and gushing noises followed. She looked down at her soiled dress, a look of pure _now is __**not**_ _the time_ on her face.

"Oh fuck me!" she growled, turning to her son. "Avery, darling, why don't you go look at the monkeys again?"

"Okay! I like monkeys!"

"Yes love, I know." Alice smiled at him. He ran off to the closest enclosure and stared through the glass eagerly, bouncing and chattering to the wild animals. Alice pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket again, speed dialing Alfred.

"_Hello?! You okay?!" _He picked up on the second ring, terror and confusion filling his voice.

"Well…. Not exactly…. Uhm… You see…" She mumbled, not quite sure how to word it.

"_What? What's wrong, honey? Are you alright?"_ Alfred said, worry evident in his voice.

_Guess I'll have to be blunt about this... _Alice thought. "My water just broke, you dolt!"

"_OH MY GOD!"_


	2. Chapter 2

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN 'YOU'RE IN LABOUR'?!" The American shrieked, startling the people around him, many leading their children away and shooting the man a glare. He held tightly to Tobias, the younger of the twins. He squeezed his daughter's hand tightly, mindful of his strength. He had to watch out for that- Nations did have surprising abilities. Alfred's just happened to be super strength.

"_Exactly that- I'm. In. Labour."_ She remarked, annoyance clear in her voice.

"W-We're on our way, baby! Just hang in there!" Alfred began to run again, yanking his daughter into his arms as well, startling the people around him once more.

"_Alfred, love, calm down."_ He could practically see her rolling her eyes. "_Labour takes a while. You know that. Remember how long I was in labour with Amelia? It will probably be close to fifteen hours, darling." _Alice sighed softly, rubbing her belly.

"But you had the twins really fast! You weren't even able to get to the phone! You had to wait until I got home!"

_"Look, Alfred, it's going to be a while. I can tell."_

"We're almost there! The monkey building's right around the corner!" He ignored her previous statement, skidding around the corner. He burst through the doors, making any remaining people jump and a few of them scream.

Alice sighed as he shot in, rising from her spot to meet him halfway. The children hung tightly on his arms so they wouldn't fall off of the frantic man.

She took the children from him, setting Amelia on the floor and Tobias on her hip, ignoring Alfred's frantic yells, telling her they had to leave and asking if she was okay. She looked up at him, irritation clearly shining in her emerald eyes as she rolled them.

"Alfred, calm down. I'm fine. I'm not _dying." _She placed her free hand, which was so much smaller than his, on his arm to calm him. His hysterics stopped and he looked at her, worry still extremely prominent.

Suddenly, Alice's grip tightened, a grimace on her face. Both Alfred and Tobias looked at her, concerned. Amelia clutched her mother's skirt, worried as well.

"Alice? You okay, sweetheart?" He asked, his blue eyes soft with concern. She grunted softly.

"Yes Alfred, I'm fine. It's just a contraction." Alfred nodded, taking Tobias from his mother. The arm that held Tobias, now free, clutched her underbelly tightly as she waited for the contraction to pass.

Her eyes and teeth clenched tight as she steadied her breathing. Shit, that hurt. The pain faded fairly quickly, and Alice let out a slow, deep breath, finally able to breathe regularly again.

"I'm ready to go home, Alfred." He nodded, taking Amelia's hand in his. Alice looked over at Avery, calling him over to her. He toddled over slowly, sadly, grabbing his mother's free hand. She curled her fingers around his so he wouldn't wander away.

"Daddy? Do we have to leave now?" Amelia looked up at him sadly, her bright blue eyes full of tears, her blonde curls bouncing slightly. Both she and Tobias were the spitting image of their father, right down to the freckles they gained in the summer.

"Yeah, sweetheart. Mommy's not feeling well. But, guess what? Your little sister's gonna be here soon!" He grinned down at her.

Amelia's face brightened, their early departure quickly forgotten. "Really?" She gasped happily, bouncing in place.

Alfred squeezed her hand lightly. "Really."

Amelia smiled, before turning her head to her mother. "Mummy, where do babies come from?"

Alfred flushed at the question, stuttering slightly, and Alice smirked at his reaction. "You'll have to ask daddy that later, love. Right now, Mummy just wants to go home and lay down on the couch."

Alfred paled. "Me?! Why ask me?!" He shrieked, horror clouding his features.

Alice's face hardened and Alfred winced. "Because you're the one who made me come to the goddamn zoo, you bastard. Also, they," she gestured to the children, an arrogant smirk on her face. "Are your fault."

Alfred's face flushed a bright cherry red in his embarrassment. "H-Hey! It's not like you didn't help!" He squealed.

Alice rolled her eyes before settling them into a glare. "Not the time, Alfred."

Alfred nodded before swallowing, concern clouding his features once more. "Right. Sorry, babe." He turned his attention to the children. "Y'all ready to go?"

The three children nodded reluctantly, not really wanting to leave just yet. "Daddy, do we gotta leave? Now?" Tobias whined, tugging at his father's hair.

Alfred chuckled. "Yeah, buddy, we do. Mommy doesn't feel good."

Tobias turned his small, troubled face towards his mother, his small fists gripping his father's bomber jacket. "Is you gonna be okay, Mummy?"

Alice grimaced, gripping her stomach a little tighter. "I will be, pumkin. Alfred, love, let's go." She grunted, waddling towards the enclosure door, Avery practically attached to her in his antsy state.

* * *

><p>"Alfred, I really hate this. And I really hate you," Alice complained from her spot on the large, camel colored, linen couch. Alfred chuckled nervously, folding the blanket she'd thrown off herself only moments before.<p>

"I know you do, sweetie. But I love you, and this'll all be over with soon." He smiled at her brightly. He received only an exhausted glare in response.

"Oh, fuck you, you twit."

Alfred had dropped the children off at France and Canada's a half hour earlier, as Alice was getting increasingly irritable and snapping at everything. Matthew and Marianne had happily taken both children in, their own two children excited to have playmates.

* * *

><p>"<em>But Mummy," Tobias whined, throwing himself face first onto the loveseat next to his aunt and uncle's couch. "I wan' be there when sissy comes!"<em>

"_Yeah!" Amelia agreed, her hands on her hips. Avery just gripped his mother's skirt tightly, hiding himself. _

_Alfred sighed. "We know guys, and you'll be there as soon as she gets here. But until then, you guys gotta wait here with uncle Mattie and aunt Fran, okay?" A feminine grunt of 'that's not my name' could be heard in the background, although it was ignored completely. _

_The children looked like they were about to protest further, but were silenced by their mother's harsh look. "Look, poppets, Mummy is very tired and upset, and you lot are not making it any better. You're going to have to wait here for a little while, okay?"_

_Avery and Amelia both sighed glumly, nodding in resignation. Tobias puffed his fat cheeks out, crossing his arms across his chest. He stomped his foot on the ground. _

"_N-No! I wan' stay with Mummy 'n' Daddy!" Tears fell down his tanned cheeks, his tiny body shaking. _

"_Tobias, love, now is not the time for a tantrum… Please don't start." Alice muttered softly. _

"_B-But Mummy…" Tobias started. His lower lip began trembling, and he latched onto his mother's other leg like a lifeline. He didn't want to let go for even a moment._

_Alice just sighed, stroking his hair softly. After a few moments, she rose from her spot on the couch, her other hand on her lower back. "Sweetheart, Daddy and I need to go now. I'm sorry, love. You can come see us tomorrow. I'm sure Matthew and Marianne wouldn't mind bringing you."_

_Tobias nodded sadly, sniffling, a few more tears rolling down his cheeks. Alice eye's locked with Marianne's, silently asking to talk to her in a moment._

"_Alrighty kiddos, we're gonna go now. I hope you guys have lots of fun!" Alfred said, kneeling down to be on their level. He gave each child a small hug while Alice and Marianne managed to escape the room of toddlers with a small amount of extra tears. Once in the hallway, Alice pulled Marianne to the side to speak with her._

"_Thank you so much for this," Alice said gratefully. "I'm so bloody exhausted and they're driving me crazy." Marianne chuckled. _

"_I don't mind in the least, chéri. They are a plaisir. Aurelian and Desiree __adore having someone to play with." _

_A few hot tears escaped Alice's eyes, and she hastily brought her arms up to wipe them. "I'm so done with all this," She said, gesturing to her very pregnant belly. She looked down at it, glaring slightly. She placed a hand on it, rubbing it gently. Hissing softly, she spoke. "I want you out of me, you little shite."_

_Marianne laughed again, a loud, beautiful laugh, placing a comforting hand around Alice's shoulders. She gave them a slight squeeze. "Everything will be just fine, mon ami. Your other little ones are quite charming, when they aren't arguing like les chats et les chiens."_

_Alice peered back inside the room just in time to see Tobias trip and fall over Avery. Alice sighed. "Just like his father."_

_As if on cue, Alfred entered the hallway to join the two girls. "Thanks Marianne," He said, grinning. "I'm sorry you can't be there when it happens, Franny. Maybe next time?"_

_Alice exploded. "__**Next time?! **__What the fuck do you mean __**next time?! How many fucking children do you expect me to have?!" **__Alfred recoiled, stuttering slightly._

"_T-That's not- That's not what I meant a-and you know it!" Alfred stuttered, his eyes wide. He raised his hands in a surrendering motion, and took a step back._

"_Well, what ever the fuck you meant, __**I want none of it!**_" _Alice growled, poking a finger at his chest. Shaking slightly, Alice took a steadying breath and let the hormones pass. "Sorry, love. I'm just a bit stressed right now. I didn't mean to snap at you."_

_Alfred's horrified face quickly melted into a soft expression. "Hey, it's alright. I know. Let's get home, okay?" He said softly. He smiled slightly and cautiously took a step back towards his wife._

_Alice nodded, a few stress-related tears streamed down her face once more. She wrapped an arm around Alfred, pulling him into an awkward three-fourths hug. It was only awkward because of the size of Alice's distended stomach though. Her face still buried in Alfred's chest, she spoke to her friend. "Thanks again for watching the children for us, Marianne."_

_Marianne smiled, rubbing her friend's back. "It's no problem, chéri. Au revoir, vous deux. I hope all goes bon~!" _

_Alfred smiled. "Us too." He gently grabbed Alice's hand and led her slowly to the door, mindful of her waddling._

* * *

><p>Alice groaned. The pain was getting intense, and the contractions much closer together. She could tell it was going to happen soon. The birth, that is.<p>

_Very _soon.

Alfred squeezed Alice's hand gently, smiling softly. "It'll be alright, sweetheart. Are you okay?"

She glared at him fiercely, spitting her words with venom. "Do I _look_ okay to you? Don't be an idiot, Alfred."

He chuckled nervously, rubbing his wife's shoulders. "Sorry, hon. I just felt like I needed to ask." She grunted.

"I don't give a flying rat's ass about that, Alfred. This little arsehole will be here soon, I can tell," Alice said, shifting into a better position. She placed one hand on her swollen belly, and the other one on her aching back.

Alfred stuttered. "A-Are you sure? We've gotta get you to the hospital!" He shouted in a panic, shooting up from his spot. Alice winced at the volume of his voice. He was _not_ helping her headache, loud as he was.

"Alfred, calm down! We can make it to the hospital in plenty of time, the baby isn't going anywhere," She scolded, giving him her best glare. Alfred ignored her statement, if he'd even heard it, and proceeded to try and usher her up as fast as possible. Alice grunted, not pleased with all the jostling.

"Alfred, stop it! Calm down!" Alice yelled, swatting at his hands as she attempted to regain her balance - and her composure. She gasped, giving a soft yelp as a particularly hard contraction hit. "Oh god! Alfred, car, now!"

Alfred squeaked in a very girly manner, practically sprinting around the room, grabbing various necessities. "Working on it!"

Alice gasped as the contraction painfully passed. "To hell with all that stuff! This baby is coming whether we like it or not!" She hissed, swiftly waddling to the door, her hand on the wall to guide her. Alfred ignored her, putting whatever it was he was holding in a small bag. "Alfred! Move it!" She growled, only just barely letting the door stay open as she waited for the fool that was her husband.

"I'm coming honey!" He shouted, nearly running into the partially opened door. Pulling the strap of the bag over his shoulder, he grabbed Alice's elbow and began pulling her down the steps and towards the car. Alice struggled, spitting out several colorful words and odd phrases.

"Dear god, I can walk you know!" She grunted, allowing him to help her into the front seat, seeing as the back seat was full of booster seats. She groaned, rubbing her underbelly.

"Alfred, good lord, get a move on!" Alice howled painfully. Alfred struggled to pull himself into the car, half-hazardly throwing the bag into the backseat. He jammed the key into the ignition, trying desperately to get the car to start.

"I'm hurrying, sweetie! I'm hurrying!"

"Well hurry faster, you bastard!" She threw her head back, tightly gripping both the armrest and her stomach. One leg brought up as far as it could be, her eyes clenched tightly, she screamed through gritted teeth.

The pain was coming faster and harsher than it was only a few minutes ago. Alice was beginning to think that maybe she'd miscalculated when this baby would come. Alfred, having finally gotten the large, old, black SUV to start and pulled out of the driveway, slammed on the gas, not even caring about how fast he was driving or whether he was passing red lights or not. They were on the highway in no time, a good twenty miles from their destination.

Alice was sobbing, pain shooting up her spine and down her legs, and all Alfred could do to help her was hold her hand. She'd probably broken two of his fingers already, if not more. Alfred didn't mind much about his fingers, they'd heal relatively quickly. They were going to a hospital anyway, and the nurses could bind them if need be. He also knew that he wasn't in nearly half as much pain as Alice, so he could deal with it.

"Alfred," Alice gasped, the pain getting more and more unbearable. "We'd better get there fast. Please, Alfred, please."

Alfred nodded, never taking his eyes off the road. Traffic was piling up. "It'll be alright, honey. We'll be there in no time. The traffic'll be gone any minute, I'm sure." His grip tightened on the wheel as Alice whimpered again. "Ah! Here! We'll take this exit. I know a shortcut. Hang in there." Alice, sweating and red, nodded her head, breathing tightly through her teeth.

Alfred broke off from the main highway, taking the exit that he'd noticed. The line of constant traffic was much lighter here than it was on the highway, barely any cars at all. Almost deserted, honestly. Alfred cheered internally, pleased with himself for doing something right. He grinned, pressing on the gaspedal.

They continued on the road for a good five minutes before the car began to shudder and jerk, giving out little puffing noises that Alfred was sure weren't supposed to be happening. Alice's face hardened, turning her head to glare at her husband.

"What the fuck is going on, Alfred?!" Alice exclaimed, tightening her grip on the fabric around her belly. She hissed, her leg hiking up even higher on the seat. "O-Ow! Jesus Christ! Alfred, what the hell? Why did we stop?!" Panic setting in, she stared wide-eyed at her husband. Alfred gulped, his own eyes the size of saucers.

He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "U-Um," He stuttered, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. "We um - We... _Might _be out of gas."


	3. Chapter 3

"W-What?! O-Out of gas?! We can't be out of gas! Alfred, we can't be out of gas!" Alice said, panic clear on her pain-filled face. She grimaced as a contraction came and went, squeezing her back and lower stomach roughly, sharply.

Crying out harshly as the contraction hit, Alice squeezed Alfred's hand as tightly as she could. He grunted, wincing. Damn, Alice was strong.

She _was _a former empire, after all, so that was to be expected.

"Call someone, Alfred! The baby is coming _now_!"

"N-Now?" Alfred gulped, his face paling. Her stared her, hands gripping tightly at the wheel, gorgeous blue eyes wide. He was going to faint. Oh god, he was going to faint.

"Yes, now! Now!" She screamed. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Now, Alfred, now!"

Shaking out of his stupor, Alfred whipped his cell phone out of his pants pocket, quickly dialing the numbers to summon an ambulance. "Hello?!" He hollered into the phone.

"_911, what is your emergency?"_A polite, although slightly startled, distinctly female voice responded to his yelling.

"M-My wife! She's in labour and my car broke down and- oh god! Please send an ambulance or- or something!" Alfred practically wailed into the phone.

_"Sir, please calm down. Everything will be fine. Can you tell me where you are?"_

"W-We're on a s-side road off highway 64. Um, I-I think it was exit 23?" Alfred said, trying to remember the forgotten information. He placed his other hand on the steering wheel, taking it from Alice, gripping it tightly.

_"We will be dispatching an ambulance to your location momentarily. Until then, please just stay on the line and do everything I tell you, okay sir?" _Alfred gulped. He nodded, until he remembered that she couldn't see him.

"O-Okay, I'll try." Alfred said, glancing back at his wife. Alice's face was screwed up in pain, and she was squeezing anything nearby to death. She held her screams back, only slight moans managing to escape her lips.

_"How close do you think the baby is to being born, sir? If you can tell. The EMTs would like to know." _

"Uh- Alice, sweetheart, how c-close is the baby to coming?" Alice choked on a sob, speaking with difficulty.

"R-Really close," she whimpered. She moved her hands between her legs, feeling around. "I-I think I can feel her." She hiccuped. Alfred shivered, nodding.

"S-She said she can f-feel her." Alfred stuttered.

_"Okay, sir. I'm going to transfer you to one of the EMTs. They'll be able to help you much better than I can. I hope all goes well." _Alfred nodded as he was transferred. There was a slight static before a young male spoke.

_"Hello, this is Joseph Brent. I'm one of the EMTs on the way. May I ask your name and your wife's name?"_

"I'm Alfred Kirkland-Jones. My wife's name is Alice." He squeaked, his nerves skyrocketing. Alice cried out as another contraction hit. Alfred looked over at her, gripping her hand so she could squeeze it.

_"Okay, thank you Mister Kirkland-Jones. I was informed that your wife is in labour. Is this her first child?"_

"N-No. We have three other children. A-A daughter and t-twin boys."

_"Okay. Thank you, sir. Can you describe how far along she is in the birthing process?"_

"I told the dispatcher lady that she said she could _f-feel_the baby."

_"Okay, thank you. We're almost there, sir. Is your wife breathing correctly?" _Alfred answered that she was. Joseph thanked him.

Alfred could hear the ambulance siren getting closer and he sighed shakily with relief.

_"We're almost to where you are now, sir. I assume that you're still in the car? Yes? Okay, thank you sir. We can see you now. Can you help us by getting your wife from the car?" _Alfred nodded, unbuckling his seat belt, heading to the passenger side door.

"I can try." The EMT thanked him. He hung up, opening the door and unbuckling her seatbelt. "Alice? Hey, sweetie, the ambulance is here. They wanted me to help you get out of the car." Alice nodded, trying to maneuver herself from the automobile. She hissed, sliding from the seat.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. A few more steps and we'll have you in the ambulance." Alfred assured, smiling in attempt to comfort her. She groaned, panting harshly as she took the few shaky steps towards the very loud vehicle. The two EMTs rushed forwards with a stretcher, asking all sorts of questions as they loaded her on to it. Alice cried out as she was placed on the stretcher. They loaded into the back of the ambulance, Alfred answering any questions the best he could.

Once on the road, one of the EMTs was between her legs, the other hooking her up to IVs and asking Alfred some questions. Alice squeezed her husband's hands tightly, screaming through gritted teeth.

"Mrs. Kirkland-Jones, you hit ten centimeters quite a while ago it seems, so you're definitely ready to push now. Don't push yet, wait until I tell you to, okay?" She nodded vigorously, tears, again, falling from her steadily reddening face. "Are you ready, Mrs. Kirkland-Jones? Okay, push!"

Alice choked back a sob as her body tensed and clenched, tightly gripping Alfred's already very broken fingers. The EMT at her side continued to gather things the other requested, readying themselves for the child that was soon to come. The EMT counted to ten, then letting her relax another ten seconds before having her push again. Alice screamed again, pushing immensely. Sweat and tears rolled down her bright pink face, her blonde bangs clinging to her forehead and face. Alfred grimaced, never liking to see his wife in such pain. He knew it would all be worth it though. Alice did too, which was probably the only reason she hadn't killed him yet. Their three other beautiful, amazing children were clear proof of this.

Alice howled in pain as she gave a massive push, a particularly hard contraction hitting her. "How many more?" She croaked, her throat sore from screaming so much. Her voice was quiet, sheer exhaustion having taken over. Her eyes lidded, she gazed blearily, helplessly, at her husband.

Alfred gave her hand a gentle squeeze, smiling warmly to help encourage her, mindful of his super strength. He felt useless, as he was unable to do anything other than give Alice kind words and let her break his hand.

"Not many, sweetheart. We'll see our baby girl really soon. Just a few more pushes." He kissed her damp forehead, smiling down at her. She gave a weak, watery smile and nodded, ready to push again. She did so, screaming at an even louder, more violent pitch than before. Her toes curled, turning the a bright white color, her legs sliding further up the bed.

"Jesus Christ! She's fucking huge!" She howled, bearing down on the next push. Alfred chuckled nervously, rubbing her hands with his steadily swelling fingers.

"Almost done, Mrs. Kirkland-Jones. Her head is almost out. A few more pushes and then you can break for a second, okay?"

Joseph spoke before the second EMT could tell her to push, letting them know that they'd reached the hospital. They rushed her in, Alice trying her hardest to hold back from pushing until they'd moved her to the slightly more comfortable hospital bedding. She had started pushing before any of the nurses had even begun to hook her up again.

"Who's your doctor, sweetie?" A nurse with short blonde hair and a southern accent spoke softly to her, patting her leg.

"L-Lewis! Doctor Lewis!" Alice managed to gasp before bearing down again. She shrieked loudly and shrilly, throwing her head back before yanking it forward to rest on her chest. Her eyes and teeth were both clenched as tight a they could be. Her face was red, her hair sticking uncomfortably to her shoulders, back and face. Her legs, which were now being placed in stirrups, were previously almost touching her chest. Her toes and fingers were curled, although her fingers gripped onto Alfred's broken, purple ones. Alfred winced, stroking her hands with his thumbs lovingly. His touch was soft on her thin, pale hands. He used his other hand to grab the blanket, bringing it up to wipe the sweat from her face. Alice panted, looking up at him. "F-For the record, I blame y-you for this one, you slut."

Alfred chuckled lightly, knowing that the others were his fault as well. "I know baby. I'm sorry. It'll all be over soon. I promise." She grunted in response. Screaming again, Alice pushed.

"Fucking hell! Why isn't she out yet?!" Tears rolled down her cheeks as her body was stretched to its limits once again.

Alfred frowned. Alice probably needed pain meds, and, more importantly, she needed to get that giant child out of her. He rubbed her hand with his, marvelling at how they could still be so soft when she was squeezing them so tightly. "Can we get her some meds, please?" Alfred was honestly kind of irritated that they hadn't given her some already.

"She's too far along in the birthing process, sir. We can't." One of the nurses looked at the two sympathetically.

Alfred stared. His expression was a horrified one, his mouth gaping open. He scowled, glaring at the nurses. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" He shouted. "She's in fucking labor! The baby is huge! And that's gonna fucking hurt!"

"Sir, I'm sorry! But there's nothing we can do at this point!" Another nurse apologized, looking between Alfred and his wife nervously. Alice shrieked again.

"Well where the fuck is the doctor?! That kid's gonna pop out any second!" The younger of the six nurses looked increasingly scared the longer Alfred yelled at her.

"S-She'll be here soon, s-sir! P-Please just try to stay c-calm!" She stuttered, her eyes wide, her body trembling with fear. Alice glared up at Alfred.

"Stop yelling at her! She did nothing wrong and you're being an arse!" She howled the sentence in pain. Alfred winced, knowing he was going to hear about this later. She was right, after all. It was Alice; she was almost always right.

"I'm sorry, sweetie! But t-the doctor! A-And you're hurting, and-" Alice cut him off angrily as she bore down yet again.

"I don't give a flying fucking rat's ass about all that!" She shouted. "What's important right now is _getting this fucking kid out of me!_" She clutched the sheets of the hospital bed in her shaking hands, screaming. Luckily, right at that moment, the doctor shot in, yanking her gloves on.

"I'm here, I'm here!" Her mousy brown hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, most likely done on the way to the hospital room. Her hospital scrubs were in a disarray from her hurry to the room, although she seemed eerily calm. "Alright Mrs. England, don't worry about anything. We'll have this kid out of you in no time."

"Thank _god!_" She howled, throwing her head back. Her body arched forward as far as it could, her stomach blocking her upper half from going too far. Her chin was digging into her chest sharply, her teeth clenched, barely muffling her screams. The pain of her labor was much more imminent, and much more noticeable, so she found herself not minding much.

The doctor immediately set to work, placing her materials around her, moving the blanket and placing it over her legs.

"Holy hell! The baby's out to her shoulders! Why didn't any of you help her?!" She flipped around, glaring at the nurses, her blue eyes blazing. The girls stuttered, squealing their explanations and excuses. Doctor Lewis huffed, turning back to the matter at hand. "Push, Alice! C'mon honey, you gotta get her out before she suffocates!"

Alice's screams increased in volume as she gave another colossal push. Doctor Lewis slid her hands into Alice with difficulty, trying to grip the baby and pull her down. Alice shrieked far more violently, her back arching. Alfred winced, leaning over her to see what the woman was doing. His eyes widened in horror. He'd _completely _forgotten what it had been like when he'd delivered the boys. By himself. In the bathroom. In the _shared_bathroom of their extremely large, old Victorian house on the nice stretch of land they owned in England.

"Now I remember how this works," He stated, falling on the floor, out cold. Doctor Lewis rolled her eyes.

"Nurse!" A few of them scurried over, hefting the limp man onto a chair and patting his face in a vain attempt to rise him.

"Alfred you complete ass! Get up you bastard!" Alice yelled over all the chaos. The women were _far _too close to the American for comfort. Far too close. She howled, feeling herself ripping, her attention back on the overly large child forcing it's way out of her.

"Almost done, sweetheart. Only one or two more pushes to go. Give me two more really big ones and then she's out." Doctor Lewis said soothingly, doing her best to comfort the wailing and angry nation. Alice howled again, pushing as hard as she could. Her breath came out sharply and quickly through her gritted teeth. "Good job, England. One more and she's out. I just need you to help me with the rest of her shoulders." She nodded, her chin pressed to her breast, her face various shades of red. Alice threw her head back with a choked scream, feeling all the pressure leave her in an instant. She flopped back onto the bed, breathing heavily.

Doctor Lewis cut the umbilical cord expertly, pulling the extremely large- completely covered in fluid- baby into her hold. The baby shrieked as she was passed off to the southern accented nurse, who led her out to clean and weigh her.

"Healthy baby girl as far as I can tell sweetie. Let me get you fixed up, alright?" Alice nodded, gulping in lungfuls of air, clutching weakly at the blankets. Her body shook, her legs wobbling from their place in the stirrups. She whimpered, craning her neck to look at her conked husband.

"A-Alfred. Alfred… Alfred, get up." She whispered softly, her voice hoarse from screaming.

Her husband twitched, but stayed unconscious. Alice whined, wanting to sleep, although she knew she had to see her baby first. She smiled slightly to herself, a light giggle leaving her lips despite the pain. She never quite got over the feeling of seeing her baby for the first time, even after three children. _Four,_she corrected herself. She had a new baby. A new baby girl. Tears threatened to fall, a grin on her face.

"Alfred," She croaked again, not caring if he could hear her or not. She needed to say this. Tears fell down her cheeks rapidly, this time from happiness rather than pain. "We have a new baby. A sweet, adorable baby girl." She sobbed happily. Doctor Lewis smiled, moving to get up, patting the Brit's leg.

"Let me go check on her, and then I'll bring her to you honey." Alice nodded, bringing her hand up to her face to scrub at her leaking eyes. Alfred stirred again, but refused to wake as Alice sobbed grossly, exhausted and elated. Alice couldn't stop smiling, nor could she stop crying. She couldn't wait to see her baby. Her beautiful, _beautiful_baby.

Alfred twitched, groaning. He sat up slowly, rubbing his head. He had a pounding headache, and he was exhausted. Not as exhausted as his wife, but still exhausted. Suddenly he was wide awake as he realized _why_his wife was so tired. He didn't hear any screaming. Only sobbing. "Alice?! Is everything okay?!" He was suddenly quiet, horror causing his voice to disappear. "She's… She's not…. Alice, she's okay, right?"

Alice laughed through her tears. "Get up, you arse. She's fine. They're just making sure she's healthy, no obvious problems." Alfred sighed in relief, slowly rising to his feet. She was okay. She was alright. His wife was fine, and his baby, _his baby,_was too.

He smiled giddily at his wife. "We have a new baby." He breathed. Alice nodded, just as enthusiastic, laughing as the tears continued falling. Alfred practically threw himself from the chair at his wife. "We have a new baby!" She cackled as he hugged her tightly, a few of his own tears slipping past his eyelids. She nodded, moving her hands to fist them in his jacket.

"I'm so proud of you, Alice! So, so proud!" The Brit grinned, laughing as he squeezed her tightly.

"Goodness, Mister America, don't hurt her!" Doctor Lewis laughed from her place at the door, a little bundle of yellow in her arms. The American flipped around, nearly tripping over his feet in his haste to see the baby.

"Let me see her!" The doctor laughed, sidestepping the American over to Alice. She slowly passed the baby over to her mother, who bounced her gently when she began to whine and squirm.

"She was perfectly healthy, a little quiet, but healthy nonetheless. Ten pounds, five ounces. Christ, Mrs. England, what've you been feeding her?" She chuckled, a bright grin spreading across her face. "What's her name?"

"E-Emily. Emily Elizabeth Jane." Alice mumbled softly as she stared down at the baby warmly. As the child yawned, the Brit ran her fingers over Emily's baby soft face, a beautiful, tired, loving smile on her face. Alfred laughed next to her, having run over when the doctor placed the baby in Alice's arms, crying his eyes out.

"I love you Alice, I love you so much!" He sobbed loudly, grossly, one of the biggest grins on his face. Alice, although quite tired, rolled her eyes, laughing at her silly husband.

"I love you too, Alfred. Would you hold her for me while I sleep, darling? I'm bloody exhausted." Her eyelids drooped as she spoke, stinging with the need to rest. Yawning, Alice passed the child to her hiccupping husband, Emily squirming and squealing in discomfort as she was jostled. Alice let out a breathy chuckle at her new baby.

"Calm down, poppet. Mummy's just having Daddy hold you for a bit while I recharge." She hummed, shifting into a better position on the hard-as-Hell hospital bed. She pulled the sheets, now a new, much cleaner set, up around her, snuggling into the plastic-covered pillow. The bed was scratchy and would've been nearly impossible to sleep in had she not just given birth. Her sweater and skirt rubbed against her uncomfortably, as she had not had time to change into a 'new mother's' hospital gown. Those were far better than regular hospital gowns. Quite a bit softer and longer.

Alice was asleep within seconds of laying herself down. Alfred sat in a large red chair in the corner of the room, cooing at his new daughter.


	4. Chapter 4 - Epilogue

Crying. Screaming. Coughing. It was repeated, both the screaming and crying, loud coughs erupting after each set of throat scratching sounds.

Alice rolled over on her still pudgy belly, groaning into her pillow. She gripped the corners tightly, her face shifting to block out the noise. "It's your turn."

"I did it last night!"

"**It's. Your. Turn.**" She hissed angrily, craning her neck only slightly so that her furious glare could be seen in the dark room. Alfred groaned, rolling over so he was sitting at the edge of the bed, rubbing his stinging eyes.

"But what if she's hungry?" He whined, turning his torso back around to her.

"She's not. I fed her an hour ago." The Brit grumbled, irritated. "Just go fucking get her before she wakes up the whole bleeding house." She spat, grabbing Alfred's pillow to place over her head in a useless attempt to block out the screaming.

"Fine Miss Grouchy Pants!"

"Fuck you."

Alfred pouted at the muffled response, sliding from the bed to pad to the corner of the room where the white bassinet was placed. He sighed as he looked down at his wailing little girl, her teeny tiny hands balled into fists, her soft face red and tearstained from her screaming. He gingerly lifted the child so she was over his shoulder, making his way back to the bed and sitting back down.

"Alfred goddammit!" Alice shot up, throwing Alfred's pillow back into place. "_Why _would you bring her over here?!" She flopped back down in exhaustion and frustration, tears beginning to leak no matter how hard she scrubbed.

"Because I wanted to sit!"

"There is a huge fucking rocking chair right there, you foolish child!" She shoved her hand in the direction of the large lilac and white chair in the corner of the room. "As well as one in the nursery!" Alfred puffed his cheeks out, bouncing Emily gently.

"You're the one that wanted the baby." He grumbled silently, staring at his baby as he bounced her, unaware Alice could hear him as well as she had.

"Oh my God! If you don't get the fuck of this room out right this very minute I'm going to bloody kill you!" Alfred sighed, rising slowly and making his way out the door to the nursery down the hall.

He bounced Emily gently, her wails quieting insignificantly. He opened the door to the nursery, the very old object creaking as he did so. "It's okay, Emmy. Calm down, sweetie." He continued to bounce her, doing a dance of sorts as he moved rhythmically around the pale yellow room. Emily cried for many minutes after that, and Alfred couldn't have been more angry that none of the doors were soundproof. Alice was probably going to come stomping in and take her, deeming him useless. That, or one of the kids would wake up, then go to Alice and get her. Either way, Alfred was screwed if he didn't quiet his child soon.

"Shh, shh. Calm down, sugar. What's wrong?" She wasn't going to answer him, of course, as she was only a month old. She continued to squeal, her fat fists tightening their grip on his night tee. Her pitiful wails made Alfred want to cry, knowing there was nothing he could do to calm her down but wait. He continued to bounce her and stroke her back, and finally, finally, her howls began to quiet.

"There you go, sweetie. Now, what's up? Is your diaper wet?" He checked her diaper to find that it was wet, almost painfully so. It had to be weighing down on her with how full it was. He was surprised she hadn't started screaming before then. "Oh goodness, baby girl! You're soaked! Let's get you changed, yeah?" He grinned at her, beginning his slow trek over to the changing table. Alice had picked most of the colors in the room, including the light pink bedding.

Emily whined as she was placed on the pillow-like object, kicking her feet at the loss of her father's warmth. Alfred cooed at her gently, gently poking her belly. "Who's Daddy's big girl? It's you~!" He grinned, leaning down so their noses touched, nuzzling them together. He continued to coo and poke her tummy, making the previous tears disappear, only to be replaced with strange looks and small grunting sounds.

Alfred chuckled when he was finished changing her, remembering the diaper cream to prevent rash, lifting her by her underarms and holding her at arm's length. She kicked her feet, unused to the feeling, her face screwed up in confusion. "All better now, Emmycakes~!" He laughed, pulling her back to his chest, shifting her so she was in the crook of his arms, her tiny fingers grabbing at the air as she blew bubbles in deep concentration.

"Cutie~!" He moaned, cooing, frustrated at her adorable self. How did he manage to get such a cute baby? He hadn't a single clue, but he was damn grateful for her. Emily whined, snuggling into his shirt, tears beading. She tugged on his shirt, trying to pull herself up, her tongue lolled from her mouth.

"What's up, Em? You hungry?" He moved her so she was over his shoulder, patting her back, her fingers poking at his neck. "Mommy's gonna be mad if we wake her up, sugar. Can you wait?" As if she understood, she began to squeal, lifting and stomping her feet into his chest. "Alright, alright. Sorry." He made his way to the door, ignoring the soft whines and tugs on his hair. Pushing the stubborn thing open, he passed softly down the dark hall, trying to ignore his fear of ghosts for the time being.

Alfred sighed when he reached his bedroom door, shoving it open to see his wife sleeping soundly for the first time in days. He really didn't want to wake her, but Alice had forgotten to fill more bottles, so she was the only option. He felt his shoulder wetting, suppressing a disgusted shiver. Emily was drooling on his tee.

"Ally... Ally baby, wake up." He shook her shoulder gently, whispering his words with guilt. She grumbled something, her eyes opening slowly.

"Nng... What? What is it, Al?" She sat up slowly, balancing her weight on her free arm, her other scrubbing her eyes to rid them of sleep.

"She's hungry... I'm sorry." Alice sighed, rising slowly, swinging her legs over the bed.

"Give her here." She grunted, taking the whimpering child. Positioning the baby, Alice grunted again, watching the child squirm, her blue eyes wide as she burbled.

Unbuttoning her nightshirt with a practiced ease, she pushed the child against her breast, watching as she latched on slowly and hesitantly. "Eat up, asshole." She grunted, watching the child eat, who kicked out her feet at her mother's voice. Alfred chuckled at the remark, knowing that, in no way, did she mean what she'd said.

Alice ran her fingers through Emily's already curling, fuzzy hair, cooing at her gently. Emily, on the very verge of sleep, continued to suckle, the sound pulling her even further. She made little sounds of appreciation as she ate, occasionally peeking up at her parents, kicking her feet, or curling her fingers on her mother's breast, scratching it with her sharp baby nails. Her exhausted parents simply smiled and cooed at her gently, simply waiting for her to fall asleep.

After another ten minutes, the child had finally fallen asleep. Alice passed her off to Alfred to place in her bed, the Brit fixing her clothes, barely bothering to do anything else before flopping back down in her place. She snuggled her nose into the pillow, kicking the covers over herself. Alfred chuckled, taking the baby over to the bassinette and placing her down slowly.

He made his trip over to the bed quietly, climbing under the covers with a content hum. He wrapped an arm around his snoozing wife, who subconsciously snuggled closer to him. He smiled, finally succumbing to sleep himself.

_This_ was the life.


End file.
